Admit it… rejection sucks.

No one likes to be rejected.  Whether you’re asking a woman out to dinner or asking her to try your product, hearing the words “No, thanks” is a downer, right?

Hearing “No, thanks” over and over again? That can crush your ego in the case of the dinner date and devastate your business in the case of promoting your product.

Now I don’t know how to help you get a yes out of a potential date and avoid the dreaded “table for one”  – but I do have some insider info that can increase your chances of hearing “yes” from a potential customer.

Getting to “yes” may be as simple as matching your marketing message to her mood. A study by parenting magazine revealed that women have distinct preferences for different types of promotions.

• Mornings and evenings are often hectic and rushed.  It takes a lot to get a woman’s attention in the morning.  If you manage to do so, you need to be quick, clear and concise.  Otherwise she’ll be too distracted to take action.

• Afternoons are slower paced.  Women have the time and are able to focus more, so they are most responsive to informative promotions or educational activities at this time.

• Nights are for winding down and relaxing.  Women are more receptive to quirky, offbeat and fun messages at night.

• Weekends are all about fun.  Funny and entertaining messages appealed to women best over the weekends.

So, how can you use this to your advantage?  If you use radio or television in your media mix, you know exactly when your ads will play.  Simply match your ad to her mood given the guidelines above.

But what about online marketing? Here’s how can you use this information to make your list more responsive:

• Emails – you can control when you send them, but you can’t control when she opens them.  One thing you can do is send broadcasts at different times of the day, then watch and see when the majority of people open your message.  It’s not a foolproof plan, because the subject line will affect your open rate.  But if you do find a consistent trend in when your emails are opened, you can tailor the tone of the message accordingly.

• Teleseminars – The results of the study indicate that afternoons may be best for teleseminars, particularly if your market is dominated by at-home-moms.  If you normally hold your teleseminars in the evenings, you may want to try an afternoon time slot for a change.  If that isn’t possible, schedule a Q&A call on an afternoon a few days after the call download is available.  Even if attendance is low on the Q&A, you’ll still spike the number of people that hear the call because they’ll want to listen to it before the Q&A.

• Fun Stuff – Did you see a funny video you want to share with your list? Maybe you have a funny story to share with them?  Send it out on Saturday morning.  They’ll have more time to watch the video and you’ll become like part of their weekend fun.

Keep this information in mind when planning your promotions and you’ll have more women saying “yes” to what you have to offer.

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Have you ever in your life connected free parking with copywriting?

I have.

It all started when Michel Fortin posted a link to a YouTube video.  The video title is “Validation” and it is described as “a fable about the magic of free parking.”

I watched “Validation” and loved it for the message, the story, the beauty and the music.  Over the next few days I thought about the film constantly.  I forwarded the link to family and friends. I couldn’t get “Validation” out of my mind.

Finally, I figured out why.

Not only is it a feel-good short, it also provides a great copywriting lesson for connecting with your reader.

Before I ruin the experience of simply watching an excellent short, please take a few minutes to watch Validation before reading about how free parking connects to copywriting.

Copywriting and Validation

Did you see how effectively Hugh (the parking attendant) changes the emotional state of the people seeking validation?

Each one of the people he validated finally felt like they mattered. The felt that someone “got” them.  And that’s what copywriters need to do.  They need to “get” their target market.

But how do you show this in written copy?  You do it by…

Validating the Reader’s Experience

When you write copy, you’re writing to a reader who has a need, desire or problem.  Your copy should convince the reader that your product (or service) can meet their need, fulfill their desire or solve their problem.

To do that, you need to get them to trust you.  One of the most effective ways to start building trust is to show the reader that you know what they’re going through. You know how they feel.  That’s what Hugh did for the parkers seeking validation.

Writing for the weight loss market?  Talk about the frustration of trying clothes on in a dressing room.  Describe the humiliation of having to go to a “big & large” store.  Mention the “skinny clothes” in the back of the closet that the reader hopes to fit in some day.

When you do that, your reader starts nodding along with your copy. She recognizes that you “get” her.

Writing to flamenco dancers? Describe the preparation rituals.  Include the scent of the make up.  Describe the how the weight of the hair ornaments tug at her hair when she whips her head during a turn.  Get specific – mention the Menkes shoes, the letras, the palmas and the remates.

You don’t know what a “letra” or a “remate” is?  It feels weird to read those words, right?  Well, that’s how your readers will feel if you miss the mark on validating their experience. Don’t worry about what a letra or remate is – the point is that if you were writing for a flamenco audience, you WOULD know.

This is part of the process that John Collier describes as entering into the conversation in your prospect’s mind.  This helps you connect with the reader and direct the conversation.

NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) practitioners call this pacing.  Harlan Kilstein, the Grand Pooh Bah of using NLP techniques in writing, teaches how to use pacing to establish rapport with your reader and how to use what he calls “future pacing” as a powerful technique that motivates the reader to buy.

But that’s a topic for another post.  For now, master the technique of validating your reader’s experience.  When you do, it will make your reader smile and your “cash register” sing.

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Want to supercharge your headline? Then you need to “set the mood.”

Imagine that you’re coming home your sweetie at the end of the day.  When you walk in the door, do you want to be greeted with a passionate embrace?  Your bodies writhing against each other and your lips pressed together in a blissful urgency full of promise and desire?  

Or would you rather be greeted with indifference and a recitation of the items that you still need to complete on your mile-long “honey-do” list?

If you choose the “passionate embrace” option, then you probably know how you can increase the odds in your favor.  Slipping a romantic love note into a pocket for your sweetie to find later in the day; sending a flirty email to get thoughts racing and blood flowing; maybe even having a special gift delivered ‘just because’.

You know that all of these thoughtful gestures will trigger the right emotions and help set the mood for romance when the two of you finally connect at the end of the day. 

Copywriting is no different.  

You want your writing to trigger the right emotion and set the mood for your prospect.  When you set the mood, they’ll be more receptive to your copy.  And the sooner you set the mood, the more effective your copy will be.

Now if you’ve studied copywriting at all, you know that the Headline gets all the love – as well it should.  It’s what catches the reader’s eye and gets prospects to stop what they’re doing and read your ad.  John Caples pointed out that if the headline doesn’t draw the reader into the copy, the best copy in the world can’t sell the product because the copy won’t be read.

So, given the importance of the headline, wouldn’t you like to set the mood for the prospect before they even read your headline?

Heck yeah, you do!

And the way you set the mood is by using a prehead.  The most powerful way to use a prehead is to trigger the right emotional state and then tap into that state with the headline.

I’ll give you an example.  Think of the Biz Op market.  Let’s start with a headline example:

Slash Your Learning Curve And Explode Your Online Profits Now…
By Doing Two Simple Things That You Already Do Every Single Day!

The prospects are people who are dissatisfied with their income and with the restrictions of a “j-o-b”.  They dream of being their own boss, controlling their own schedules and raking in the dough so they can be free to spend their time as they like.

On top of all that, because they are reading magazines, surfing the internet and watching infomercials about how to achiever the freedom the dream of, they’re inundated with success stories and images of wealth.  As a result, they feel like they are the ONLY ones on the planet that aren’t living the good life.  

In the world they’re exposed to, EVERYONE (but them) is driving a Ferrari, living in a mansion, and working 1 hour a month under a palm tree on a beach.

Now imagine you’re one of these prospects, you’ve been trying to make money online without much success, and you come across this prehead, followed by the headline:
 

Tired of struggling online while everyone else is getting rich and living lives of freedom?                  

Slash Your Learning Curve And Explode Your Online Profits Now…
By Doing Two Simple Things That You Already Do Every Single Day!
 

Can you see how the prehead sets the emotional state for the reader and supercharges the headline? Very powerful stuff.

I guarantee that tapping into the emotional power of the prehead is the equivalent to romancing your sweetie throughout the day.

Remember that.  Then, go do something nice for your sweetheart.

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If you’re serious about marketing your product or business to women, then you already know how important it is to target your market.

Is she a Baby Boomer or a GenX? Was her British invasion The Beatles or Duran Duran? What’s her income range? Is she urban or rural? Red state or blue state? Married with kids or single and loving it? Is she Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, or Samantha? (If you’re in the women’s market and you don’t know who they are- catch up!)

You’re probably thinking Yeah, yeah. Tell me something I don’t know.

Heres the thing. Pinning down the demographics of your target market only scratches the surface. What you may not realize is this: with women, you have to go deeper.

At least 50% of my current clients are with me because they didn’t go deep enough. Even after crafting campaigns that match the age, sex, income, and education levels of their market they sought me out because their results told them they missed the mark. Striking the mother load of the women’s market goes further than conventional market segmentation.

You see, once you know your prospects age, affluence, and social tendencies you need to drill down several more levels. Because just like populations can be segmented by desired characteristics for effective targeted marketing, an individual – particularly a woman – can be as well.

On any given day, one woman fulfills a multitude of roles. Mom, wife, ex-wife, daughter, boss, employee, volunteer, caregiver, sister, friend you get the idea.

To really sell your product you need to know what role she’s fulfilling that generates a need for your product or services her idiodemographic.

Step into her shoes as she’s filling that role and get under her skin. If your product is for exasperated mothers, appealing to her competency as a leader in the corporate world can cause your campaign to fall flat on its face. She may be a skilled vice president who is proud of her work, but believe me, you’re pushing the wrong buttons at the wrong time, and she isn’t going to buy.

Smart companies rely on funnel vision for their marketing. By starting with the broad demographics most businesses are intimately familiar with, then drilling down to the idiodemographic characteristics of your ideal prospect, your marketing message pierces to the heart of her motivation.

You need funnel vision to reach the one woman who has agonized, fretted, and lost sleep over the very problem you can solve when your ad hits the newsstands or airwaves. And shell know, deep in her core, that your product or service is exactly what she needs and she wont rest until she has it.

Done right, your deeply targeted message will have a domino-effect transmission, moving from emotion, to pocketbook, and into the complex referral network so characteristic of women who are satisfied customers. Funnel vision is the one of the quickest ways to devise an effective campaign strategy that resonates with your ideal prospect immediately. Its the difference between reaching and connecting. Anyone can reach women. To sell to women, you have to connect with women.

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If women make up a significant portion of your target market, one of the simplest – and most overlooked – ways to make it easy for them to choose your product is to keep in mind this one characteristic that is common among virtually all female consumers…

When deciding whether or not to purchase a product or service, virtually all women stop to consider what effect their purchase will have on those around them.

Always remember when you’re marketing to women, that women are inclusive. Whether husbands, parents, sisters, children, friends, bosses and virtually everyone else in their inner circle realize it or not, women think about them as part of the pre-purchase process.

In their book Don’t Think Pink Lisa Johnson and Andrea Learned describe this as constituent-driven decision making.

Will these heels make me taller than Mike? Is this new flooring going to trip Mom when she visits? How will changing my investment strategy affect our plans to buy Lindsey’s car in April? Which week will my vacation least impact everyone at the office?

Women’s heads race with questions like this constantly.

My mother is a perfect example, but you need a little background for this to make sense. Back in 1999, my husband Joe had brain surgery (he’s doing very well, thanks!) which slightly impaired his left side of his body.

Now, although we live over live over 800 miles away and visit less than once a year, Joe played a prominent role in Mom’s decision making when she shopped for new sofas and chairs. For her, one of the make-or-break factors when buying furniture was “Will my son-in-law be able to sit and stand easily?”

If making a decision on a sofa based on an annual visit from your son-in-law who lives 800 miles away isn’t constituent-driven decision making, I don’t know what is!

What you need to know about constituent-driven decision making is this: If you fail to address how the benefits of your product or service ripple out beyond her personal experience, then you’re missing a critical component in your sales message.

After you’ve fully demonstrated how your product or service will make life easier for her, go a little further. Let her know how her loved ones and friends will benefit, even tangentially, after she makes her purchase.

Doing so will help you stand out among your competition and just may win you a lifelong customer!

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I’m heading out to see one of my mentors, Harlan Kilstein, on Sunday.

The thing about Harlan is, he’s addicted to yoga.  So whenever I’m in Florida, I end up twisting like a pretzel and loving every minute of it.

I love it so much, that when I come back, I try to keep up the enthusiasm with his Yoga DVDs.  But my exercise habits aren’t the point of this post.  I’m really posting so I have an excuse to use the way cute picture.

The picture is of dog extraordinaire Scampers. He’s getting in on the yoga act.  Scampers is a Pembroke Welsh Corgi whose stubby legs barely reach the ground.

Here he is with his favorite toy (it’s actually a foot massager that vibrates when pressure is applied) in downward dog position.

See?  Told ya he was cute!

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Here’s a weird quirk I’ve discovered about myself since I started working from home: I’m not the best time manager in the world.

Why is this weird? Because when I worked for “da man” (actually I was in an all woman department-it was a hoot!) I managed the bejeebers out of time. Multiple projects, training teams, proposals, grant applications, you name it, I managed it. On schedule and under budget.

The thing is, everything at the university was predictable. So, I databased, spreadsheeted, and mail-merged my way to uber-efficiency. I haven’t reached that level in my own business, but it is one of my longer term goals.

In the meantime, I’ll share a bit of time-management savvy that I learned very quickly.

Set boundaries.

It’s that simple.

Set office hours that work for you. Transact business during that time. If your family needs attention, do a quick reality check.

Pretend you’re in a cubicle surrounded by your coworkers and ask yourself “If this was the first week at a new job, would this activity be acceptable?” A quick phone call probably would be. The visit from your sister-in-law to review People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive! issue is probably not appropriate.

Now if George Clooney stops by for a visit, well, there are exceptions to every rule. But I digress…

I know it’s hard to resist family, especially if they’re home at the same time you’re trying to work. But if your children are old enough to entertain themselves responsibly, or if another adult has agreed to watch them during your business hours – take advantage of these precious productive moments – once they’re gone, you can’t get them back.

The hidden benefit of sticking to your guns on this one is the freedom you’ll have when you aren’t working. Never again will you feel guilty about decorating cookies with your kids rather than working on your client’s project.

Why? Because you know you put in an honest and productive day’s work, and you’ll do it again tomorrow.

Trust me, you’ll get far more satisfaction out of work AND personal time if you set boundaries.

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Business guru Tom Peters tells an amusing story in his 2001 report Women Roar: The New Economy’s Hidden Imperative.

After one of his lectures, Tom was approached by a man in the audience. Turns out, this wasn’t the first time the man had seen Tom speak.

At an earlier event, Tom had insisted that businesses open their eyes to the power of the women’s market and encouraged them to, at the very least to take a good hard look at who was really buying their products and services.

This man took Tom’s advice, and quickly tracked down information on who was ponying up the cash for his large ticket super-macho merchandise.

Turns out the audience member wanted to shake Tom’s hand and thank him for the advice that spurred him into action, because he was shocked to discover that 85% of his product sales were to women! His product? Riding lawn mowers.

So I encourage all of you to do the same. Do some digging. You just may be surprised to find more Allisons, Torys, and Katies on your sales slips than Toms, Dicks, & Harrys.

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